Premarital Topics and Questions Before Getting Married
I share with all my couples, soon-to-be married as well as already married, to consider there is and will not be a "perfect" partner. In reality, each one of us are broken and on a life long learning journey about ourselves, others, and the world. This includes our partner!
Premarital questions will not solve all your issues or make everything perfect, but gives you an opportunity to learn more about your potential marriage partner. Partners often do not go in-depth to better understand each other beforehand, which oftentimes lead to frustration and perpetual conflict in the relationship. Honestly, some of the questions listed below can be asked as premarital as well as married questions. Hope they might be useful to you!
Relationship Goals
Why is marriage and a committed relationship important to you?
Where/how do you see us in the next 5,10, or 15 years?
How important is trust and transparency to you?
Quirks and Pet Peeves (aka Personal Habits)
What quirks or pet peeves do you have that I should know about?
How do you spend your days off or free time?
What are your thoughts on having opposite gender friends?
Faith and Spiritual Beliefs in Relationships
Do you believe in God?
What are your thoughts if we have different religious beliefs?
How will these beliefs influence our relationship?
Finances in Relationships
How will be manage our finances? Separate or Joint?
How do you feel about saving, investing, and spending?
What is your relationship with money? What are your feelings about having and managing debt?
Having Children
What are your thoughts/perspectives on having children?
How will be raise/educate our children?
What if we are not able to have children? What then?
In-Laws
Tell me about your parents relationship and your relationship with them?
How much influence will our in-laws have in our relationship and life decisions? In raising our children?
How often will we visit our in-laws?
Career and Work and Marriage
Will you prioritize your work/career over family? Will there be a balance between home and work?
What are your thoughts if one of us either makes more or less income than the other?
Sex and Physical Intimacy
How important is physical and sexual intimacy to you?
What are your expectations around intimacy and sex?
How do you want your partner to express love and emotional support?
Communication and Conflict Resolution
How do you deal with conflict and disagreements?
Is communication and having a dialogue important to you?
Do you believe in forgiveness and giving each other the benefit of the doubt?
Household Chores and Responsibilities
How should we manage our bills?
How should we balance out the chores and responsibilities?
What are you thoughts in eating out as well as cooking at home?
Taking the step into marriage can feel scary, daunting, mix of emotions, and with lots of questions. You might need someone with an outside perspective to help navigate what your going through. Please feel free to contact me, for a free consultation!